Classroom Management Strategies for Confrontational Behaviour

These strategies and skills are best used in and around the school grounds with students who have – to use the technical term – ‘lost the plot’ and are becoming increasingly confrontational. The goal here is to de-escalate the situation and diffuse their anger and aggression before it becomes worse or turns into violence.   

1. Recognise the warning signs that something is wrong 

There’s always a reason for the misbehaviour that a pupil is displaying, but the ‘trigger’ experiences don’t always happen in full view of the teacher.  I once taught a young boy named Joe, who came to my class with his very own government health warning!  The advance report stated that he could not control his anger and would frequently burst into a violent frenzy for ‘no apparent reason’ (but did not mention whether or not he turned green and shredded his trousers when it happened). 

Sure enough, I witnessed his frenzies many times over a period of 2 weeks and I was shocked that there did indeed seem to be no motive at all for his rage.  It was only by chance one day that I managed to catch another boy, a very talented, emotional bully, mouthing something silently across the room. Seconds later, Joe exploded, throwing tables and chairs as he ran from the room.  It dawned on me that there was, after all, good reason for him to be losing his temper – he was being incessantly tormented by other class members. But I’d missed the warning signs. When I began to watch him more closely, there were clear signals whenever he was about to explode, and I was able to respond accordingly.  

Typical signs that a child may be experiencing some kind of distress might include:  

• Agitated behaviour such as pacing 
• Refusal to take outdoor jackets/coats off 
• Rigid body, hands on hips, or crossed arms 
• Repeated phrases 
• Eyes darting/rolling, or avoiding eye contact 

• Withdrawn, sulky, non-compliance 
• Sighing or heavy breathing 
• Clenched fists 
• Posturing – jutting jaw and/or chest stuck out  

Unless we act on those signals, the situation will only get worse and escalate.  

2. Respond early 

Problems are easier to manage if you deal with them early. The student who is pacing around the room or sitting quietly in the corner staring at the floor needs intervention NOW; not when their feelings and emotions escalate to a point where they are no longer receptive to your words and actions.  

3. Stay CALM with non-threatening facial expression and body language 

Ensure that your own behaviour and facial expression do not stoke the fires of unrest. 

4. Don’t try to lecture or explain 

Students are more inclined to listen when they aren’t worked up. Learning takes place most efficiently when students are calm and relaxed. When they’re stressed out or angry, they’re less able to take in new information, so if you see that their temper is rising, stop using long-winded verbal instructions and explanations. Brief, clear and succinct instructions will be heard and understood more readily. Long-winded instructions might actually make their anger worse.  

5. Change their state 

While working with EBD teenagers, I noticed that they could quickly become entrenched in their anger unless given the right support to help break them out of this cycle.  Invariably, the ‘right support’ traditionally involves lots of talking, giving advice, and so on. But as the diagram above suggests, this form of ‘help’ can often have a negative effect on their temper.  

 In such circumstances, it’s beneficial for all concerned to change their state as quickly as possible so that, once calm, they can reflect on and learn from their behaviour.  The ideas that follow are strategies for quickly changing their emotional state from the negative one to a more positive one.  

6. Change their state by asking them for help 

It may be a good idea to send the child on an errand away from the classroom in some circumstances, which gives them an escape route from circumstances that they’re finding difficult to deal with. 

“David, could you go to the office and ask them for some board pens for me, please?” 

7. Change their state with a diversion 

A quick demonstration, an introduction of a new topic, or even a game can be a very effective way of quickly diverting attention away from a problem and changing the student’s emotional state from ‘fully immersed in being angry’. To pull this off seamlessly and not get caught out trying to think of a suitable alternative activity on the fly, you should really have a resource file – either in your head or in hard copy format – containing fun, interesting, and engaging games and filler activities.  

 “Look this way every, please, I set up this activity for us earlier.” 

“Okay, for this game, you need a blue pen and a piece of scrap paper.  Get your equipment out please.” 

8. Change their state with a ‘bizarre’ question or silly, off-beat response 

The delightfully silly film ‘Airplane!’ has a funny scene in which a passenger on a stricken airliner is crying hysterically.  A nun approaches her and tries to calm her down, but when her ‘softly, softly’ approach doesn’t work, she ends up slapping the passenger across the face.  The nun is then pushed out of the way by one of the cabin crew, who again tries to console the passenger and again ends up slapping her across the face.  The camera then pans out to show a long line of boxers, wrestlers, soldiers, and even mediaeval knights in armour all queueing up waiting for their turn to give the person a good slap and bring her back to her senses.  

Now, I’m not suggesting your have the class line up to slap your troublesome student in the face, but humorous, weird, and off-subject questions can throw an angry student off-guard and break their state just as effectively as a slap in the face – and they don’t leave a mark.  

Next time a child is screaming in your face, throw them off balance with crazy questions such as, “Where does your lap go when you stand up?”  It may just be enough to make them stop for an instant, long enough for a smile to creep over both your faces.  Dr Neil Schiff, a psychologist working with violent teenagers, advises parents to use a similar strategy instead of calling the police or imposing harsh punishments like restraints, which tend to make teens more violent.  Every time the young person starts to get angry, the parents are to sing ‘Old McDonald’ and dance round in a circle. Occasionally, they wear a silly wig or oversized hat as they do so. Invariably, it stops the out-of-control teenager dead in their tracks. They crack up laughing and tension immediately drops.  E-I-E-I-O!  

9. Change their state by finding something to praise 

We’ve already discussed the power of sincere, descriptive praise in other classroom situations, but it is just as useful as a de-escalation strategy. There is always something positive to say in any situation.  

10. Change their state by agreeing with them 

When a student is angry and the listener tries to reason or argue with them, their efforts will be largely unheard. If the listener can instead find something that the student has said to agree with, then it takes away the resistance and eliminates the fuel for the fire.  

“You’re right.  It’s a stupid idea having the display there.  No wonder it got ripped.  Can you tell me where it might go instead?” 

11. Change their state by apologising 

Apologising is a good de-escalation skill. I’m not talking about apologising for an imaginary wrong, but rather sincerely apologising for anything in the situation that was unjust. It’s simply a statement acknowledging that something occurred that wasn’t right or fair.  

“Steven, you’re absolutely right. I did shout and for that, I’m sorry. Really, I am. Will you accept my apology so that we can move on with the lesson?”  

This can have the effect of letting angry people know that the listener is sincerely sorry for what they are going through and they may cease to direct their anger at the person attempting to help.  Some adults have a real problem with this. “What, me?  Apologise to him?  He’s a child!  He should be showing me respect!”  My answer is, yes, he should, but he isn’t doing so, is he?  The truth is that the boy won’t show any respect to a teacher who shouts down to him. And while he might reluctantly comply, he won’t show respect.  

Apologising is a tremendous way of showing respect to them and is one of the quickest and surest means of totally disarming an irate student.  It stops them dead in their tracks and immediately takes the sting out of the situation.  

12. Change staff without losing face 

It’s very difficult to ask for support, let alone ask another member of staff to take over your class when you’re wrapped up in an argument with a student who is about to punch you.  It’s simply a matter of pride – you don’t want to give the impression to the student that you can’t handle them.  It’s a message that would soon flood around the school and damage your reputation. So, you shun any offers of assistance.  You battle on, and the situation gets out of control.  Sometimes, all that is needed in any altercation is a change of staff, a change of face.  

Here’s a really good way to offer support to colleagues or get their support when needed, without losing face in front of a student.  Discuss the idea with colleagues and agree that asking for help is a strength, and that you will see it a positive strategy to regain control of a situation to calm a pupil, rather than an act of weakness.  Agree to a ‘code’ to use when asking for help. A colleague can then approach the occupied member of staff with statements like:  

 “Mr. Smith, there’s a telephone call for you in the office. Shall I take over while you attend to it?” 

This will give the hypothetical Mr. Smith the chance to distance himself from the student causing problems, without seeming as if he is backing down or running away.  

13. Remove the audience 

Peer and audience pressure can cause a problem to escalate more quickly than it normally would, so seek to isolate the pupil whenever possible.  

“Let’s talk about this out there where I can hear and understand you better.” 

And then, lead them away from the classroom to a quiet room or quieter part of the building where you can diffuse the situation.   

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